JOE DOES LIFE

Ugh… tired of my weight fluctuating but it’s my own fault, too.  I’ve gotta stop with fast food to gain my calories.  Anyways, I weighed a day late but my magic number was 324.2.  Not bad… but still would like to be losing more so I need to put more effort into things.

So I’ve been a bit bad lately.  I know, I’ve been “bad” for a while now and need to pull it together.  My family’s diner has kept me fed and I’ve also been eating from restaurants nearly every day the past week or so.  

I was afraid that eating out so much would show me gaining weight as I get closer to my weigh day.  Last night, I weighed myself and I was very happy… 324.2 popped up on the scale.  That’s a difference of 4.4 lbs since my last weigh in.  I “cheated” again this morning because I know that you usually weigh more at night than you do in the morning and I was 321.8.  That’s another 2.4 lbs difference.  

The only thing I can think of is that with my activity at work and the calories that I’m consuming are actually giving me the net amount that MFP suggests.  At the beginning of my lifestyle change, I was around a thousand calories or so off from what was recommended.  Some weight came off but then I stalled a bit.  It’s weird that by eating more, you lose more.  Science and the human body puzzle me at times.  

Sidenote - my family’s diner isn’t really that unhealthy.  I always order my sandwich on wheat (though they also have wraps or salads I could get instead of the tenderloin or chicken sandwich) and I make sure to have veggies on as well.  The downside is that I’m addicted to the fried cheese curds… so I’ll have to lay off them for a while… if I can.  

What’s your favorite healthy fast food?

328.6

So I only lost one pound.  Still going in the right direction, but I need to pull things back together.  I’ve been eating bad so I’ve been slipping into bad habits.  I need to stop being lazy and make food at home instead of lusting after hot (expensive) food. Kinda funny since my family just opened a diner… so I’ll have to make better choices when I do eat away from home.  In the last week or so I’ve switched from Lean Cuisine to Healthy Choice.  I still need to find an alternative to frozen dinners but for now they have helped with my portion sizes a bit.  

Gotta remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint.  It’s not going to be over in a short amount of time.  Also, I need to “train” myself for a marathon and do things right.  Right now my only “exercise” is what I do at work.  I need to sneak some things in here and there to get me started and so that I can have more of a difference.  

What do you do when your weight loss starts slowing down when you still have a ways to go?

that used to be a little snug on me is now a deal loose on me and it makes me quite happy….feels great!

I know I have been slack on the blogging and that comes from a mixture of nothing to update on as well as some guilt.  I hinted in my last post that I had some personal things going on.  My mom ended up having to go into the hospital due to some complications from her surgery.  In visiting her in the hospital and making sure that my sister had food to eat when I didn’t have time to go grocery shopping, we ended up eating out quite a bit.  Unfortunately for me, this started a bit of a snowball effect.  Added in the emotions of my cat of thirteen years dying… I’ve been eating bad things for me.  I’m trying to pull it all together now… and fighting the temptation of buying Bojangles and McDonald’s biscuits for breakfast.  I knew it couldn’t be an easy trip all the time.  I’ve also got to become more active because I’m starting to plateau a bit.  

Anyways, I hope some of you send me some nasty/supportive messages to help me get back on track.  I’ve just gotta keep my goal in mind and not let other things hold me back or get in the way.

Sorry for being a little behind on my Weigh Day entry, but a lot of personal things have been going on all at one time.  Unfortunately, that also means that I have been eating very unhealthily.  It’s a pain that healthy food cannot always be as convenient as fast food.  It’s also bad that fast food is convenient when your emotions are in swing.  In any case, my weigh in this morning was 329.6 which is only a loss of 2.4 pounds in two weeks.  I’m disappointed by the small loss, but consider myself lucky that I didn’t gain.  I was expecting to have put on some pounds due to my emotional eating and the convenience of bad food.  Hopefully I will have more progress when the first rolls around.  So far I’ve lost 50 lbs… can’t wait to lose 50 more…and 50 more…

I believe that in the last ten years or so I’ve been living with a mild form of denial.  There has always been a weird kind of disconnect between my head and my body.  It’s as though I see myself as being completely different than what I am… until I pass by a mirror (which is also why I hate mirrors.)  When I’m walking along and feeling good, I don’t really realize that I’m the 300+ pound guy that I am.  It just doesn’t register with me.

In high school, me and another guy got in a mild argument with one another because we kept saying that the other was fatter than the other.  In retrospect, I know that I was in denial and that in fact I probably was the fatter of the two of us.  

For a long time in recent years, I felt like I was ok - as long as I didn’t weigh as much as my mom and as long as I can still take a cute picture of myself.  Well… after my mom went through her time in the hospital and making some changes for herself, she finally weighs less than me.  When she first went into the hospital, she was 503.  Now she’s just under 300.  I think that her being less than me is partially what kicked me into gear to start things out.  

Like a mirror, I hate pictures that other people take of me.  I find those pictures to be 99% unflattering to me.  After many hours of using my own camera, I’ve found the angles that I’ve looked best in that help to hide the flubber… and it has helped me maintain this unhealthy denial that I have had with my body.  

I’m starting to look at myself more in the mirror now as I lose weight to make me see myself as I am instead of as an imaginary person that I wish exists.  I still don’t like what I see but it helps to motivate me where in the past it would lead me to eating my emotions.  I’m slowly getting over this weird denial of myself and to start taking better responsibility and care for myself.

just to see.  Apparently between the time I weighed yesterday and this morning, I lost 2.6 pounds as I looked down and saw 332.  It’s really weird sometimes how our weight changes within a short amount of time.

I have lost 2.4 pounds since my last weigh day.  I’m disappointed in the small number but at the same time I’m glad that I still lost instead of gained since any other year during the holidays, I probably would have gained 2 pounds if not more.

I think that it’s kind of a good thing that I was hit with a small number at the beginning of a new year so that I can buckle down and be even more serious about my goals.  I need to change my “relationship” with food.  I don’t need to kick myself too hard because it was the holiday season and food is normally a part of it.  At the same time, though, I need to be able to gain some control and not let it be an excuse to eat without consequences.

From now on, I am going to work on making better decisions when it comes to food and “rewarding” myself.  I’m also going to work on a transition away from eating Lean Cuisine everyday so that I can stop relying on a packaged meal and find a better and healthier alternative.  I also want to be better at judging portion size without having to physically measure everything with a cup.

I also want to give a shout out to my friend, Sherry.  I like that you are keeping a picture of your future bridesmaid dress as your motivation.  I know you can do it.  You’ve always inspired me and I hope that tumblr is helping to inspire you and help you maintain your goals.  I know you’ll look gorgeous in the dress no matter what!

because all I’ve had to eat today has been bojangles and chick-fil-a.

Gotta get my ass back in gear tomorrow.  As long as I’m still losing instead of gaining weight, I’m going to consider it a positive.  Gotta do the new year right!

I didn’t let anything hold me back from eating a mixture of things for the holiday.  I definitely overdid it though because I ended up going into a small coma at my grandma’s due to an extreme amount and mixture of different starches.  I also had quite a bit of Chinese food for X-mas Eve.  

My next weigh in day will be on the first day of the year.  I know my number won’t be as great as I’d like due to the most recent celebrations but I’m still hoping to reach 325 by the first.  I’ve changed my regular eating habit a bit so I wouldn’t get bored with the same cycle.  Hopefully that won’t change my weight significantly.  

What’s your goal for the new year?

What are you eating during the holidays?